Nerd³ is a Psychopath – Blade and Sorcery

Nerd³ is a Psychopath – Blade and Sorcery


*Mumbling* *Coughing* *Wheezing* Ugh Oh, morning! It’s fucking morning Oh, how do look? Oh, I bet I look terrible Not bad today! Oh shit, oh, I’ve got bazoongas! OoOoh *laughter* What are we doing then? Who are you? Blade and Sorcery! It’s in early access, and it’s a game! The places to go to and destinations on the world, tap to travel! Yes! Ooh fuck, oh wow! Huh? Can I search this? *Panting* Oh the quality of the fabric! Alright I’ve got my sword I read the things, it says I’ve got a sword Oh, there is somebody! Hello somebody! Do I have anything else? Yeah! I’ve got a dagger on this side! I am ready for you wait- Oh fuck Oh my god that was terrifying! He didn’t die! Whoa, what are you going to do, whoa what are you going to do huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Oh crazy octopus! *Yelling* I think I just killed him by- uh *Exited laughter* I’m a fucking sith! Uh oh- okay I’ve got an idea! Come here! Okay, wait there Come to me, thank you By the way, this game may contain scenes of extreme violence an gore *Grunting* Well, at least that’s how I’m playing it Magic! Wait- There you go, I’ve toasted your friend, now you may go *Worried laughter* Ah! That feels so weird! Charge in! *Grunt* *Wheeze* Oh- Oh he totally just countered that Okay- I’ve got him by the shoulders! He’s still alive! Stay the FUCK down! Oh for -FUCKS SAKE! Oh, I’ve just turned my magic off, haven’t I? I dropped my small weapon there, there’s somebody else over there Kay, limp, limp! Got it! *Exasperated grunt* May I have your- sword? I missed it, oh I hope I got it I got it! Are you still alive? Not anymore! How about you? No? So that was- very easy. We’ve won! *Laughter* Really? Are we doing this? Wave 2? Alright! Oh fuck’s sake! I’ve got my dagger I’ve got my fucking Emperor Palpatine on There’s somebody No one else? Just this guy? One guy?! That’s all they sent after me There there *Screaming* Hey? Yeah, just got to Run it with you! I nearly stabbed myself then Oh, I was hoping a dagger oh- thank you! OH! Okay, so that’s with you now- Ah! Shit! *Worried panic* Okay! Okay, I’ve run out of that- I got a sword! Put down the sword, okay stab people in the leg Got a sword! This, uh- Fuck you! Fuck you! Oh shit, oh- okay.. You killed me you little fuck Alright, I’m back! What did I miss? There’s an armory here, I’ve just spotted you in that battle Yeah, grab that sheiled, oh this looks fun! Can I throw it? No, ooo! Oh! If I click the trigger I get to choose where my grip is! So I can like, properly twat people Oh that’s the wrong way around, hang on Oh, can I properly like *Grunt* Anyway, claymore! Can’t it be a two handed weapon yeah? Hm, claymore and a big shield Gentle stabbing, gentle stabbing. *laughing* Very gentle stabbing I see you! *Grunt* Hey, that went well! Both hands.. Go! Run! Uh oh I think I kissed him! Shit! Alright, I’ve got a shield So there’ll be somebody over there Oh! There’s somebody right here! Did you not die? Oh wait no, it was somebody else It was your twin brother I killed! Oh god Axes are bad! axes are bad! Kill this man! Yeah, well- I was going to grab you in the face but I’ve been killed, I’ll be back. *smooch* Reminder, this is very easy mode! This game was made by a fucking viking! Alright! Ready for all comers! HI! *Various grunts* Alright, plan is working! I’ve got you Fuck! Eh! Mind the stick! Uh-oh EH! *Laughter* I’m sawing at his armpits! This isn’t murder! Okay, new plan, okay, new plan! Fuck…dagger…It’s die. The new plan is die, that didn’t work! Why not a bit of archery? Oh, that’s just one Many quo- quos? Bows. Okay so, I’m guessing it’s just a case of- Oh, well that’s fucking easy alright! Behold my arrow skills! Okay.. Behold my close range arrow skills! NPC: *Screaming* Dan: *Laughing* Shit! Oh you split the arrow! Fucking hell you roman ranger- Oh, and he’s dead. Okay, so where do I want to put you? “Argh” he said, “Argh” Oooh, that’s a nice neck isn’t it? Did you survive that? HOLY SHIT! You little shit *Various grunting and screaming* DICK *Drunk laughter* I’m too tired for this shit Come to me! There we go Alright, who’s next? Who wants a piece of me? I have zero energy left in my body oh oh oh oh oh oh oh! *Angry Grunt* *Girly scream* You fucking blocked that? Seriously? Fuck it, keep it Oh my god, she’s turned into hitler! Die Hitler! Die Hitler DIE HITLER! Alright, next? Okay, well just fucking take that! Next! Next! *nervous laughter* NEXT! Shit! You wait there a second Hi *grunting while stabbing* Stay down. You…you you-you-you-you! *More grunting* That’s the face I would’ve made Oh sorry, were you embedded in me? Oh you, and you, I’ll be with you in a second! Catch! Nice Arrow flying just past me right then! *Laughter* I’m just going to fucking stab you in the fucking eyes! Fuck off! Hello, oh, there we go Hi, I need your- yeah, I know Sucks, doesn’t it? Oh…shit! Well that’s a uh… Matt editing this is going “Oh my god he’s fucking snapped it’s happened” Oh, that’s bad Go around go around! Crouch crouch crouch! You can’t fire at me! Huh, thank you! I know, come here, come here Oh that’s not nice *grunting* Not nice at all is it? OOOH! What did I just do? Fucking- Ha! I’m being stupid now! Hey! *Laughter* *Violent grunting* Don’t hit with him! Unless, of course, they’re trying to kill you In which case, fucking hit anyone, I don’t give a shit! Hit a baby if it’s trying to kill you! Come here! *NPC screaming* Yeah, I know Fuck off down the well! Okay… Not I’ve got a sword! Smash! I needed to grab that with the other hand Okay, quickly! Sweet! *Gasping for air* Oh fuck off, no more! NO MORE *Grunt* Thank you Okay.. No, I’ve put that, I’ve just put that in my pocket I’m now half chair, fucking dabross, look at that OW Alright, let’s go to a different level Because uh, I just remembered there’s more levels Okay It’s foggy in this arena, I think this is my glasses *Battle cry* *grunting* Come on, let’s go through everything I’ve learned! come on lightning Oh hello Zena! Long time no seen ya! *Sings John Cena’s theme* Anyone else? Who the fuck are you? You’re a mage aren’t you? You’re like me! Well, you’ve been stabbed in the face! Very different! Did I stab you through your- oh it’s stuck in your thing Oh, hello- FUCK Okay wait wait wait, time-time-time! I’ve got one of you hostage! They don’t seem to give a shit Well, okay, we missed Weakness Your bin is literally the- I can see where it’s clipped on! Shit! *Manic laughter* Oh I want more of them Fists! …fists! Well, spells will work, but fists! Come on now oh i got- I didn’t mean to use this! Honest! Hi! uh-oh, what am I going to do? Grab him by the shoulder And by the hair Okay, ready.. Sorry about that, what was actually quite gross wasn’t it? Oh-oo-oh! Okay! *Laughing* Prick! Oh fuck! Okay, his girlfriend- Why am Iosing so easily? Oh! That was dumb of you! Ah fuck there’s more of you! I thought i was done! I’ve been fucking around! I will make you quiver in fear! Okay, com here I will beat you with your friend! Choke slam! Boom! *Battle cry* *Laughing* We’ll chase with somebody-shit stay the fuck! Come here, come here! okay.. *Gasping for air* *Girl screams* I know I know… I know. *Heavy breathing and grunting* (Gravely voice) I always knew.. Yes, my voice has gone (back to normal) I always knew That living in Essex would eventually pay off *Deep sigh*

100 thoughts on “Nerd³ is a Psychopath – Blade and Sorcery

  1. "This game may contain scenes of extreme violence and gore."
    Proceeds to stab a man multiple times in the mouth
    "…At least when I'm playing it."

  2. I loved this channel but I haven’t been recommended any of your vids in ages and I forgot about it lol. Glad to see these videos again 😂

  3. This video single handedly made me want to buy a VR headset. I wanna stab me some peeps in VR, where I can't go to jail for commiting atrocities.

  4. Dude I haven’t watched you in forever. I watched you back in 2013-2014. “What’s up my fellow procrastinators” I remembered the name of your channel. It’s good to hear your voice again.

  5. In 6:08 I thought the guy was bald so when you hit him with the sword I thought"holy shit he grew back half his hair!"

  6. now that there's DISMEMBERMENT you can actually decapitate someone when you try to
    PLAY THIS GAME AGAIN PLEASE

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